


Ficlet #9 “Don’t you ever do that again!”

by Addisonzella



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, MSR, Tumblr Prompt, XF Writing Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 20:12:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6391624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Addisonzella/pseuds/Addisonzella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Light MSR Ficlet drabble based on Tumblr Prompt #9 “Don’t you ever do that again!”<br/>No lie, this is based on something a female physician told me her colleague said to her years ago (before society was as intolerant of sexual harassment).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ficlet #9 “Don’t you ever do that again!”

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Podfic Ficlet #9](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/190399) by Zella. 



Mulder watched Scully stitch up the Y-incision on the cadaver with careful strokes of gold-tipped needle drivers.

The coroner, Deputy Thibodaux, leaned over the table and examined her work. Mulder rolled his eyes upward, giving thanks that Scully’s scrub top reached her collarbone so the asshole couldn’t sneak a peek.

“Well, little lady, I’d say you chose the wrong profession! You’d’a made a mighty fine seamstress.” Deputy Thibodaux laughed at his own joke through Billy-Bob teeth.

Mulder straightened and glared at the man, who was oblivious to his sexist insult. Scully merely raised an eyebrow and continued to focus on her whipstitch. When she finished, she pulled off her gloves and washed her hands, drying them on a green towel. 

The coroner, obviously uncomfortable with silence, spoke up again. “Well, uh, how are you folks enjoying Lafayette? It’s crawfish season, ya know. Abita Strawberry beer has been a’ flyin’ off the shelves.”

Scully ignored him to reexamine the medical report he and the pathologist had signed off on. She cleared her throat before speaking. “Deputy Thibodaux, in this report, you indicated the cause of death was suicide via a self-inflicted gunshot wound.”

“That’s right,” he made no effort to hide the fact that he was checking Scully out.

Scully disregarded him and continued. “The angle with which the bullet entered the body resembles other cases of accidental self-inflicted gun wounds.” The coroner shrugged in response. “In most suicides,” Scully continued, “the bullet enters the mandible from below, but this is not the case here. Furthermore, the police report designates that there was a bullet hole in the sidewall of his residence, signifying the victim’s aim was imprecise.”

“Imprecise?” The coroner guffawed and slapped Scully on the shoulder. “Ole’ Hank was always a terrible shot. Tell me somethin’ I don’t know.”

Scully deftly twisted from his grasp, both eyebrows raised. “What I’m suggesting, Deputy Thibodaux, is that Hank Moreau did not commit suicide. Rather, the evidence suggests his death was accidental, likely from the mishandling of a firearm.”

It took several moments for Thibodaux to comprehend Scully’s statement. “Now, wait a minute, missy. Do you have a problem with my work?” He hovered over Scully in an attempt to intimidate her.

She looked Thibodaux straight in the eye and spoke clearly. “My medical opinion is that you and your pathologist need to adjust this report.” 

He sniffed and turned to leave the morgue. He muttered under his breath as he pulled the door open.

Mulder grabbed Thibodaux by the collar of his scrub top and pushed him up against the door with such force that the man cried out. 

“What did you say?” Mulder asked through clenched teeth.

“Uh, nothing,” the coroner was barely able to speak as he struggled against Mulder’s strength.

“Mulder!” Scully protested but he ignored her.

Mulder leaned until his mouth was near the man’s ear. “I think you owe this ‘little lady’ an apology,” he said, before dropping his grip on the coroner so that he fell to the floor.

Shamefully, the man stood and brushed himself off. Unable to look at Scully, he muttered a weak apology before hurrying out of the morgue, the metal door clinking into place behind him.

“Mulder! Don’t you ever do that again!” Scully had her hands on her hips and Mulder knew he was in trouble.

“What, Scully? You didn’t appreciate those free tickets to the gun show?”

“Mulder, I’m serious! I can take care of myself.” She cocked her head to make her point.

Mulder, embarrassed, looked down at his shiny black shoes. “I know you can, Scully,” he said softly. “I just didn’t like how he treated you; what he said about you.”

“Mulder, the man is an idiot!” She raised her hands in emphasis. Then, she stepped closer to him and lowered her voice. She was ashamed to ask, but she had to know. “What did he say?”

Mulder looked up at her, then, and sighed. He really didn’t want to tell her what that nitwit Thibodaux had said, but he owed Scully an explanation. “He said women had no business practicing medicine. That you would have done better work lying on your back.”

Scully raised her eyebrows in surprise for a few moments, then began to laugh. “Were you fighting for my honor, Agent Mulder?” Her voice was coy and she struck him playfully on his bicep.

Mulder held out his arm, his elbow parallel with the floor. Scully took the hint and held onto him as he escorted her out of the morgue. “I’m your knight in shining armor, Scully.”

**Author's Note:**

> Not Beta’d; this is just a ficlet, folks.
> 
> Reviews are cherished!
> 
> podfic on Tumblr http://xfpodfic.tumblr.com/post/142959565890/xf-podfic-ficlet-9

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [PODFIC of Ficlet #9](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6996856) by [Addisonzella](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Addisonzella/pseuds/Addisonzella)




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